I'm so bummed out. I miss my Lola more than I can ever begin to explain and the feelings of grief seem unbearable at times. I'm okay when I'm at the hospital with Katie but being at home is another story. There's an emptiness in our family and we can all feel it. Lola was more like our child than our dog. Yesterday I accidentally dropped a piece of food to the floor and Daniel and I both turned around to where Lola usually sits to see if she was coming to get it. We both immediately started balling our eyes out. It's going to take some time for things to feel alright again.

A couple of years ago after watching a horrific show about puppy mills and shelters (on Oprah of course) I turned to Daniel and said that one day, when we have lots of land and lots of money, I want to open a no kill dog shelter. Not the typical dog shelter with cages and depressing things...it'll be more like a little hotel for dogs while they wait to be adopted. When we do fulfill that dream, we're going to name it after Lola. I haven't worked out all of the kinks yet but we have many moons to figure it all out. We're going to hang on to Lola's ashes until we're living in our dream home, with lots of nature and bury them under a big beautiful tree. In the meantime we engraved the box with "Lola, Love you forever." I always will.

Now, onto my other beautiful girl. Katie is doing really, really well. Honestly, there isn't all that much to say except for that.
Daniel's parents got to hold her for the first time the other day so I'll post pictures of that when I learn how to re size them.
They had a bone specialist come and see her because they saw that she had a whole bunch of fractured ribs and shoulder bones that are now healed. The bone doctor told us that all of the fractures happened during one incident and that it was most likely while they were in emergency mode and trying to save her life. He said that her bones will get stronger after she's taken off of steroids but in the meantime we just have to be gentle.
I could go on and vent about the many examples of how the damn hospital doesn't respect her sleep...like waking her up at 3am to strip her naked and weigh her... but I won't because we've already complained to the person in charge and there are now notes to leave her the fuck alone while she's sleeping all over the place. Not as vulgar as that, but hopefully they still get the point.

I chopped off most of my hair today. It had been halfway back and is now at my shoulders. It feels nice and unlike the other stuff going on right now, is a welcome change in my life.

The kid is 1 month old adjusted age and is already standing up all the time!